Happy Tits

The Story of America

(Source: heyyouarekindafreakingmeout)

heyyouarekindafreakingmeout:

electrolux

my favorite blog

(Source: hookersorcake)

Spreading world piece.

Happy Halloween!

2 are better than 1

Lost in the wilderness conjoined twins Pam & Trixie survive on their own ‘resources’ along with the help of a magical stranger and his dowsers wand. (starring Peter Falk, Uschi Digard & Kitten Natividad)

Tiff was always ready for a parade.

freaking me out

The pee-pee of Christ propels you

hookersorcake:

The New Age store down the street started selling sex toys. It was only a matter of time once they started selling Terrence Mckenna books. Its a slippery slope. I’d wandered in to see if they had the Wilhelm Riech classic, Listen, Little Man. It was to be a present for my dominatrix, Marie, but then I discovered they had a whole ‘sexuality’ section which quickly devolved into a gigantic dildo section.

“Come on! I’m a middle aged white guy in a new age gift shop, as if I don’t already feel inadequate enough, now you have to wave giant black cocks in my face?”

While a lesbian couple snickered at my obvious discomfort I spied the best thing I had ever seen. A motorized sex toy that fuck’s itself. The box was emblazoned with slogans:

• A real conversation piece (if you can keep it out of your mouth!)
• You can fuck it - it can fuck you - or it can fuck itself!
• For the hard to please narcissist
• Great gift for lawyers and guru’s alike!
• Buy several and make a chain of ‘fucking machines’ to bind your hands and feet as you drown in a endless sea of desperation!

To bad it cost $99. Oh well, maybe I’ll wait until they’re on sale.

Billie Jean King may have lost some speed and endurance over the years, but her backhand is still majestic.

Happy Fathers  Day…

puffy nips and a kick ass hat!